What assumptions do people make about you? By Ana Artz
What assumptions do people make about you? By Ana Artz
I expect that people consider me to be an unserious dilly dallier, which I am. I love cracking jokes to make people laugh. I love wandering around and exploring new areas. I love crafting handmade gifts for people so that I can see them smile. Overall, I love being unserious and having fun with everything (and everyone) that I encounter. I think it’s great that people tend to assume that I am a happy person, because I am. However, what most people don’t see is how I am also an extremely anxious and fearful person.
A lot of the time I find myself scared of what people think of me, that’s partly why I like being perceived as happy a lot of the time, so that there’s no real reason to dislike me I guess. I was also raised in a way in which I was taught to always value the opinions and feelings of the other person before my own, which comes with its upsides but also downsides. It means that I’m careful not to upset anyone and I take my actions with care to not intentionally tick off anyone for the fun of it. But on the flipside, it also means that I tend to back down to people. Kind of like letting myself get bullied into the other person getting their way on certain issues.
Standing up for myself is something that I’ve been trying to improve upon, especially when I’m at school or work. The reason I’d quit my first job was because my manager always yelled at me and ordered me around.There was one time she asked me to find a waffle cone when we were closing. I was busy with another task. She knew I was the only person who wouldn’t complain about the sudden urgency of her request, and would just take her yelling at me over practically nothing. At that moment, I couldn’t stand up to her or say anything about it without the nagging fear that I would be fired. Ultimately, one of my coworkers asked her to apologize to me, but I still didn’t feel great about the situation.
That experience has led me to believe that I need to build more self confidence, and to realize that I need to surround myself with people who won’t just be bossing me around. I am still very VERY anxious and a little scared to speak up for myself, but I am trying to get better every day. I’m also glad that I’m still a happy person, like people think I am, because I love giving myself more and more reasons to smile.
Questions:
Do I use the word “love” too much in the first paragraph? I want to repeat the word/emphasize it but I can’t tell if the reader can tell that it’s actually intentional or not.
Do I mention my fears too much?
Do I show enough growth/want to grow? In past essays I feel like I’ve been lacking in my reflection portion.
Do I provide adequate examples of what I’m saying, like showing rather than telling
What would a nice title be?
Oi Ana! You made a awesome job by writing this blog. It is incredible how honest and open you were about yourself in this essay, really different from other blogs posts that I've read. This feeling of "caring about what other people think" is really hard to deal with and I know that because I've passed through it. Your essay has a great structure and it is, interestingly, easy to read. About the questions, I think everything is fine but indeed I think you could show more about your plans to control this feeling and lower anxiety. Overall, bom trabalho!
ReplyDeleteHey Celinaa! I really connected with this essay because I have some of the same flaws that I'm also trying to work on. I also tend to put others before myself and self respect is something I've also been trying to improve that, so it's cool to see you also working towards that! I think you have an interesting take on the format since the majority of your reflection on yourself is before the narration part. It works well and you do have some reflection on your ongoing growth after the jarlings story (sorry they were mean :<). I think repeating the word love does provide good emphasis and it draws parallels on different things you love about your personality, maybe cutting love once or twice and rephrasing it would help since it would still get that emphasis across without being overly repetitive. In terms of mentioning your fears I think it's really valuable for this personal essay and it shows the reader your honesty and willingness to be open with your reflection, so I don't think you mention it too much. I think your reflection in the first and second paragraphs are good in the way that they reflect on your personality and flaws but some more self growth after the story could be beneficial. You get the point across that you're actively working for standing up for yourself more but you can expand on it, maybe by giving ways you're trying to. Certain things you stopped tolerating or something along those lines, and if you don't have any concrete examples yet that's fine and you can talk about the effort you're putting. I think you "tell" your flaw in the second paragraph then show it with the story so you do a bit of both. It looks like you still need a good amount of words so like I said more on the growth portion or even adding another brief story could help with that. Great blog post!!
ReplyDeleteHello Ana! I think the use of the word love in the first paragraph could be rewritten like this: "I love wandering around and exploring new areas, crafting handmade gifts for people so that I can see them smile, and being unserious by having fun with everything (and everyone) that I encounter.". Maybe this could be fixed or tweaked to fit your personality and writing style, but I think this is a decent starting point. I definitely think that mentioning your fears works when it comes to this essay because it helps to connect to the question "What assumptions do people make about you?". I think the story towards then end about your job is a great way to make a reflection however I think to end it you could maybe go over how you would've handled the scenario better or tackle a possibility that could occur in the future similar to it. I also wanted to add, for personal reference, that I also have a fear of what others think of me which is why I try to stay quiet or speak when I need to, so I can appeal to others and avoid hurting their feelings, and that's what made this essay so relatable and enjoyable. I think you provide examples and that the story helps reinforce the idea of showing over telling, but for the title I don't know how to help because I don't do titles well either. Overall though this was an amazing essay Ana and reading it was very interesting!
ReplyDeleteHi Ana, I think this is a really good glimpse into your mind. As someone who knows you and your silly personality, I think it's effective since I have never really thought of you in a negative light. However, I also know that having a mindset of trying to keep everyone happy can be unhealthy, and sometimes it's important to stand up for yourself even if your image might be a little tainted in the minds of others. I'm glad to hear you are working on it and I'm sure you will find a great balance of both. Great job!
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